The riddles
Groans are part of the fun.
Riddle 1What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
Riddle 2What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow.
Riddle 3What has a bark but no bite, and is covered in lights in December?
A Christmas tree.
Riddle 4What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Riddle 5Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Riddle 6What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Riddle 7I have a head and a tail but no body, and I'm sometimes found in a pudding. What am I?
A coin. Some families hide one in the Christmas pudding.
Riddle 8What goes up the chimney down, but can't go down the chimney up?
An umbrella.
Riddle 9Why is Santa so good at karate?
He has a black belt.
Riddle 10What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
Riddle 11Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
Riddle 12What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
Riddle 13I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. On Christmas Eve, I glow. What am I?
A candle.
Riddle 14How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad.
Riddle 15Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
Funny Christmas jokes and dad jokes
Clean, corny and perfect for crackers. Every family has someone who groans the loudest; these are for them. Tap to reveal the punchline.
Joke 1What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
Joke 2What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia.
Joke 3Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
Joke 4What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
Joke 5How do you know Santa is good at karate?
He has a black belt.
Joke 6What is a snowman's favourite drink?
Iced tea.
Joke 7Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting?
It kept dropping its needles.
Joke 8What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas?
Sandy Claws.
Joke 9What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.
Joke 10Why don't crabs celebrate Christmas?
Because they're shellfish.
Joke 11What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells.
Joke 12Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Low elf-esteem.
Christmas knock-knock jokes for kids
Knock-knock jokes are the easiest for young children to tell. Practise one at bedtime with the sleeps countdown.
Knock 1Knock, knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who?
Snow use, I forgot my key again.
Knock 2Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's freezing out here.
Knock 3Knock, knock. Who's there? Doughnut. Doughnut who?
Doughnut open until Christmas.
Knock 4Knock, knock. Who's there? Holly. Holly who?
Holly-days are here again.
Knock 5Knock, knock. Who's there? Yule. Yule who?
Yule never guess.
Hard Christmas riddles for adults
These take a bit more thinking. Give everyone thirty seconds before you reveal the answer.
Riddle 1I have hands but cannot clap, and on Christmas Eve everyone watches me. What am I?
A clock.
Riddle 2The more of me there is, the less you see. On Christmas Eve, I am perfect for Santa. What am I?
Darkness.
Riddle 3What has many needles but never sews?
A Christmas tree.
Riddle 4I am full of holes but still hold water, and I'm used to wash up after Christmas dinner. What am I?
A sponge.
Riddle 5What can you catch in winter but never throw?
A cold.
How to tell a Christmas joke
- Pause before the punchline. Let them guess first.
- Keep it short. The best Christmas jokes are one question and one answer.
- Write your own. Most Christmas dad jokes are puns: elf and self, Claus and clause, snow and so. Try mixing a Christmas word with an everyday one.
- Make a joke jar. Write jokes on slips of paper and pull one out each night of Advent.
For questions with real answers, try our Christmas trivia. For word puzzles, see Christmas anagrams.
Questions people ask
Quick answers about this countdown.
What is the funniest Christmas joke?
Everyone has a favourite, but "What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas? Sandy Claws" is a classic.
Are these Christmas jokes clean?
Yes. Every joke here is family-friendly and fine for children and classrooms.
What is a good Christmas riddle for adults?
Try: "The more of me there is, the less you see. On Christmas Eve, I am perfect for Santa. What am I?" The answer is darkness.
Keep exploring
More countdowns, tools and Christmas reading on Christmas Days Left.